I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
