after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
