oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
