she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
