your parents love me but you hate me
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
