Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
