You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
50% drunk capacity currently
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
