Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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