just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize