So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
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