After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
