I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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