You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
