your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize