Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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