My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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