Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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