I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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