My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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