fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
