problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
