My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize