I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
