So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
