actually, I'm a sock model
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm jealous of your bromance
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize