i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize