Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
