Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
