I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
