HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
