She's like a pop up book from hell.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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