K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
