my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
