I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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