I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize