i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
