if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
