Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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