i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All the doctor said was why
Randomize