just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
