Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
