I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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