I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
