i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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