How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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