guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
