What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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