i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
