He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize