dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
