True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
