im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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