Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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