why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
