Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
