If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
