Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
