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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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