Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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