i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
