It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
