Small penises have feelings too.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
