Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Soap is not a condiment
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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