ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
