Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
