he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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