I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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