Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
